i dont have much time to post these days. and i am ok with that.
if you aren't aware, my husband and i have been pursuing adoption for a while. three weeks ago tomorrow, we got two amazingly beautiful kiddos, whom i will refer to as lovely girl (if you know her, you know why she has this nickname!) and little man. they are 6 months old and 18 months old, respectively. two weeks ago, we decided to also take in their two older brothers, who are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old (they will come to live with us on friday).
life has been crazy. i have barely been able do anything fun or relaxing, as my days have been taken up with loving on the kiddos, taking them to their million and one appointments, looking for a new place to live and managing our household (laundry, dishes, cooking, etc). it seems that it was good timing that God reminded me of a good quote two days before we got the kids: "when christ calls a man, he bids him come and die"
God is using this to help me die to myself. in some ways it is painful. in some ways it is enjoyable.
some days i am amazed at the patience he gives me (the thing that usually tries my patience the most is the fact that our little man cries a lot. almost any time you are not giving him direct attention. and also many times you are giving him direct attention. however, this is getting better slowly). other days, i am grieved by how little patience i have.
some days i marvel over the fact that i get to cook and clean and develop my kiddos with the best hours of my day (all things that i highly enjoy). other days, i feel like i cant wake up tomorrow and repeat the whole process again.
some days i am joyful, and wonder that God would let us be a part of such a ministry. other days i am prideful, and sinfully feel sorry for myself.
some days i am amazed at God's provision, and other days, i cannot calm the anxiety over that which he has chosen not to provide yet.
as you read this, i implore you to look away from your computer and pray for me and for us. we are in desperate need of God's grace right now. i dont think i have ever been more aware of that fact as i have been in the past few weeks. many people have told us we are crazy to take on the other two boys (some even told us that taking two in the first place way pretty bold!). yes, it is crazy if we are doing it on our own. but we cant do it on our own, and that is why i ask for your prayers for us. you can join us in praying:
*that God's spirit would control us and fill us with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
*that he would provide us with a place to rent with a yard, enough room for 7 (possibly 8) people, and within our price range.
*that jesus would be our firm foundation in the midst of much instability and change (new job for alex, new family, moving to a new house, etc).
*that Alex's and my relationship would stay rock solid in the midst of all of this.
*that we would have the wisdom to be good parents to these children, and love them as our Father loves us.
*for lots of energy! (i usually hate naps, but i have wanted one every day since we got the kids. and i haven't taken one yet.)
*that He would raise up people to come over on a regular basis help us out (i have found that two hands are not enough to manage two kids. i don't even want to think about how hard its going to be with four!).