best prayer prayed by a three year old. ever.

for mother's day, alex got me the book "when helping hurts... alleviating poverty without hurting the poor... or yourself".  i have been wanting this book for a while and am excited to read it.

in the first chapter, the author shares a prayer that his three year old daughter prayed.  it is so profound, yet spoken as only a three year old could say it:

"dear Jesus, please come back soon, because we have lots of owies, and they hurt."

sounds very similar to the way jesus himself taught us to pray: "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (matt 6:10)

i truly hope that esther (and all of our children) will have that deep of an understanding of the gospel by age three.

holistic dentistry: 6 month update

when we first started with our new dentist 6 months ago, i wrote about our experiences and initial impressions.  now that i've had my second cleaning (and 4th appointment over all), i wanted to share an update.

as i mentioned previously, at my first cleaning appointment, our dental hygienist watched me brush and floss and corrected my technique.  during that visit she mentioned that i really needed to focus on cleaning my gums better, as my gums were bleeding easily, had deep pockets (a sign of lots of bad bacteria) and generally looked unhealthy (i think she said something like they looked mushy or spongy or something).

she scheduled my next cleaning for four months later, sooner than the usual six because she really wanted to make sure my gums were getting better.  this week was that appointment.  as soon as she looked into my mouth she remarked that my gums were looking much better.  most of the deep pockets were starting to heal.  none of my gums bled.  their appearance went from red and inflamed to pink and firm looking.

yay!  this was such a relief to hear.  my hard work for the past few months on cleaning better was paying off.

but it wasn't really my hard work that did it.  in fact, i now brush my teeth for a shorter amount of time than i used to.  what has really made the difference is the change in my technique, taught by the hygienist at our new dental office and her focus on making sure we saw things improve in my mouth.  its like the saying: "work smarter, not harder".

one of the focuses of our holistic dentist is to teach people how to take care of their own teeth (and thus prevent dental work from needing to be done), not just repair teeth after the damage has been done.  and that is the distinction between holistic medicine (which is preventative) and western medicine (which is largely reactive).

so, six months in, i am happy to report than i am still pleased with our new dentist!  i am still waiting to get some cavities filled in the near future, so i will update again after that.

i love mondays

for the past couple of months, i have been really loving mondays.  its not my favorite day of the week, that would be sunday.  but its probably because of how great sunday is that i love monday so much.

let me explain.

one of the ways alex has been a huge blessing to me since we have gotten married is by helping me to observe the sabbath.  for the past couple of years, our sabbath pattern is to go to church in the morning, have people over for lunch afterward and hang out for the rest of the day with them.  i don't do housework on sundays, other than meal prep and clean up for our sunday lunch.  its so nice to sit for several hours every sunday afternoon while the girlies sleep and read or discuss life and spiritual things with friends.  i love sundays.

and then monday rolls around.  and since i am so well rested from sunday, i am ready to jump back in to things with two feet on monday.  i usually wake up earlier than normal on mondays.  i get right into doing the weeks' shopping, cleaning the house from the weekend's activities and planning and doing meal prep for the week.  God made us to work, and though our work is laborious because of the fall, we should also enjoy it because we are serving God through our work.  resting on sunday allows me to be joyful to jump back into work on monday.

"all babies begin life 100% pure..."

"all babies begin life 100% pure... feed them accordingly"

so goes the statement on a certain brand of organic baby products we have in our house.

on the surface it sounds good to our ears.  but if we dig down a bit deeper, we find that at best this is a platitude and at worst its an outright lie.

physically, do babies start out pure? no.

study after study recently has shown that babies are born with all the toxins found in their environment: pesticides, plastics (like BPA), and other toxic chemicals are passed from mom to baby from their first days in the womb.

emotionally, do babies start out as pure?  no.

in our foster care classes we learned that there are structural brain differences between babies born with moms who were abused versus babies whose moms were not abused.  this brain difference is because of the level of stress, and leads to the baby feeling more stress later on.

now fortunately not every mother is abused while pregnant.  however, every mother does experience stress while she is pregnant for some reason or another.  its a tragic reality in the broken world we live in.  take away everything else in life, and being pregnant alone is reason enough to cause stress.  all of this stress is transferred on to baby, though for most babies its less stress than having a mom who is abused.

spiritually, do babies start out pure? no.

the above statement about babies being pure is the general mentality of our culture.  but according to God's word, it is not true.  God's word says that ever since sin entered the world, things here on earth are tweaked.  they still retain some semblance of the good God created it all with, but things like hunger, illness, anger and death have entered the world through that sin.  and we are all born with a sin nature, a tendency toward sin, inherited from adam.  even the youngest of babies has this nature, and is not 100% (or even close to 100%) pure.





but this is not reason to despair.  it is possible to have a pure life.  but it doesn't come from organic baby food.

it comes from being washed by jesus' blood.

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 john 1:7

hitting a stride, and a month of firsts {april in our home}

this month has been a breath of fresh air in many ways.  the biggest reason is that i have finally hit a stride in our daily routine for the first time since baby girl came to us over 7 months ago.  i thrive on routine (and so do kiddos!) so things have felt so much more peaceful and manageable... not like running around like a chicken with my head cut off as many days in the previous few months have been :)

the biggest thing that has helped me to hit a stride is waking up early to pray and read my bible.  this is normally a pretty consistent routine in my life, but when when we have babies who are waking up at night, its a different story.  but baby girl is sleeping better, and though some mornings its hard, i try to be up before 7: first i let the chickens out, then i grab a mug of coffee or tea and sit down to read.  i am studying the book of esther with women from our church, and the sermon on the mount with our community group.

after getting the girlies ready for the day, we usually try to do something outside of the house like walk to the park or store or hang out with friends.  after lunch, the girlies usually go down at the same time for naps.  recently i have been doing lots of sewing while they are asleep if there aren't other pressing household things i need to do.  after nap is usually outside time: the girlies play while i hang up laundry or do some gardening. soon after i start dinner and then our evening routine sets in.  some may get bored of such a routine, but for this exhausted mama it has been a real refreshment to be able to predict when i will be able to recharge during the day, and when i have to be on my toes.


this has been a month of firsts for the girlies.  baby girl's first time crawling was just over a week ago (uh oh, we now have double trouble on our hands!!).  the next day esther also had a first: her first major injury! :( she fell down while drinking from her water bottle and displaced two teeth.  fortunately, it looks like she wont need any dental work (thank you Lord!  definitely an answer to prayer!).  and then this past sunday another first:  while we were praying before breakfast, i was holding baby girl's hand and she started gnawing on my fingers and i felt something... her first teeth!  both of her lower ones are coming in at the same time.  esther is always saying new words, my favorites right now are "mine" (i know... this will not be so cute in a couple months, but right now the way she says it is super cute) and "amen" after we pray.


the daily routine we have gotten into has helped me to be able to focus a lot on my monthly life goals.  so much so that i have not only accomplished my april goal (planting a new crop) but i have already accomplished my may goal (making clothes).  i have already made several toddler dresses and a few baby headbands both accented with these flowers (i will try to post pics soon!  the are pretty cute if i do say so myself :) ), and i hope to make a skirt for myself in the near future.  the internet has been so great for finding really easy to follow tutorials for all of these things.  what did people do before the internet?!  anyways, i have been loving spending the girlie's nap times doing crafty things :)  i have started following a few sewing/crafting blogs for inspiration (let me know if you have any suggestions!)

::sermons i enjoyed this month::

for your exhortation and enjoyment, i am going to start posting sermons that i have enjoyed listening to each month (as often as i remember to :) )

parenting young people I and II (by doug wilson)

worldliness (by alex costa)

other sheep that are not of this fold (by john piper)

how far should obedience to parents go?

hudson taylor (famous innovative missionary to china in the 1800's) penned these words as he was waiting months (because of slow mail) to get permission to marry the woman he loved, even while he knew that untrue, derogatory things were being said about him back in england.

they may be pretty surprising for our american eyes to read:

"i have never known disobedience to the definite command of a parent, even if that parent were mistaken, that was not followed by retribution... the responsibility is with a parent, in such a case, and it is a serious one.  when the son or daughter can say in all sincerity, 'i am waiting for thee, Lord, to open the way,' the matter is in his hands to take it up"

wow.  i think this would also apply to obedience to the godly authority that God has placed over us (such as the elders and pastors of our church).

this could only be written by someone who also wrote:

"how important to learn... to move man, though God, by prayer alone"

what faith!

what do you think?

 

3 myths about introverts

as i mentioned in my march recap, i recently read and really enjoyed "the introvert advantage".

among other things, it was helpful to understand better how extroverts often misunderstand introverts.  since about 75% of people in america are extroverts, these misunderstanding are widespread.  in fact, in our culture extroversion is seen as better than introversion, while introversion is almost seen as a mental illness that needs treatment.

before we go further, let me clarify the definition of introversion (and conversely extroversion) in order to clear up some of the misunderstandings.  the main characteristic that defines an introvert is someone who recharges their energy through alone time.  conversely, extroverts are people who are energized by being around other people.  to be clear, there is no "true" introvert or extrovert, there are times when we could be energized by either activity, but most people tend more to one direction or the other.

1. introverts don't like people
introverts are often seen as shy, socially awkward or withdrawn from society.  in reality, extroverts can also be shy, socially awkward or withdrawn (and it is much more painful to them when they do struggle with these things because they need people in order to feel energized).  these things often stem from negative life experiences, and not from temperament (for example, someone might be shy because they were teased a lot as a child).

introverts need a lot of alone time to recharge their batteries. but when they are feeling recharged, they enjoy spending time with people, particularly a few close friends or family members.  in fact, introverts are better at having deep relationships with the people in their lives than extroverts are.

2. introverts can change and become extroverts if they try hard enough
one time, probably in middle school, i though it would be really cool if i switched from being a righty to a lefty.  so i tried writing with my left hand.  alllll day long. every day.  for weeks (maybe even months?).

eventually i gave up.  it was exhausting.  and though my handwriting slightly improved, it was still deplorable, and it was not worth the immense effort.

like handedness, temperament is evident early in life (in fact, i have been able to pin all of our kid's temperaments before they turned one) and has certain genetic components.  we cannot change what energizes us (although studies do show that as people age, they tend to go more towards the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum). with great effort, one can strengthen their less dominant side, but it will never become the dominant side.

i have seen this in my life.  doing ministry in college has really strengthened my extrovert side.  its much easier for me than for other introverts to engage in small talk, meet new people at parties, talk in front of groups and lead people through a teaching.  i've had numerous people be shocked when they find out that i am an introvert because they have only seen me with my extrovert mask put on.  but at the end of the day, i need a lot of down time to work up the energy for these things (and a lot of time afterwards to decompress/recharge).

3. introversion is a pathology that need to be cured.
in a culture that believes to be successful in life you need to be bold, outgoing, a "people person", friendly, approachable, the life of the party and a strong leader, introversion is not seen as a desirable trait.  i have experienced this tension, because most of the ministry roles that i value (discipler, evangelist, sunday school teacher, bible study leader) are made for extroverts, and i can feel that introversion is a problem in me that needs to be fixed.  it is hard for me that i want to do these things, but they take so much energy that i often feel depleted afterwards, and often need long times to recharge in between doing ministry (i am now understanding why i constantly felt SO drained when i was doing vocational ministry!).  i remember times in college that i felt so guilty for going to a coffee shop to read my bible and pray, when i "should" be doing productive ministry tasks like meeting with women and sharing my faith.

but there are in fact many advantages to introversion for every day life (including ministry).  introverts have deeper relationships than extroverts.  its easier for extroverts to have many shallow relationships (which has certain advantages) but easier for introverts to have a few deep relationships (which has other advantages).  introverts are passionate about deep conversation on topics they care about (but feel super drained when engaging in small talk), while extroverts do well with small talk.  i could talk all afternoon about theology and ministry philosophy, but i hate it when people talk about the weather (really?? in southern california the weather is always the same and people still talk about it as if its unusual that its sunny and in the 70's.  but i digress...).  introverts are much better at listening than extroverts (i can't tell you how many conversations i have had with people where i have asked a few questions here and there and then mostly listened to the other person talk for 30-60 minutes or more!  not that i mind, since this is a strength of my personality).  after all, someone needs to listen to all those extroverts talk :)



what about you?  are you an introvert or an extrovert?  have you experienced these things?