21 year old mother of 14 kids

"when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die." -dietrich bonhoeffer

this quote randomly popped into my head yesterday, and has been repeating itself ever since.  i dont know why.

or at least i didn't.  until i saw this video.




after watching it, alex said "i think we should do that".  and my heart was thrilled.



and that is when bonhoeffer popped into my head again.  and i realized that no matter how thrilled i would be about this, there is going to need to be a lot of dying between now and that day.

i will need to die to my fear of wrinkles in order to live in a sunny, tropical country.  i will need to die to my demand for alone time in my life.   i will need to die to my desire for constant financial security (there is no way, humanly speaking, we could "afford" to have 10+ kids).  i may need to die to my desire to have biological children.  i will need to die to my desire for control.  i will need to die to my desire to eat healthy food (it is likely that we will live in a country where we will subsist mainly on rice and beans).  i will need to die to my desire to exercise regularly.  i will need to die to my desire for safety.  i will need to die to my desire to be well liked and well known.


and there are probably 1,000 other things to add to the list that i don't even know yet.



but when i stand before jesus, all these things will be of no concern when (i pray) he says to me: "come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’"



what will He say to you?  i implore you to meditate on this before it is too late:

“when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. and he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. then the King will say to those on his right, ‘come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? and when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? and when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ and the King will answer them, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
    “then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ then he will answer them, saying, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ and these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
(Matthew 25:31-46 ESV)