today was awful.
literally one of the hardest, most stressful and wearing days i have ever had.
i was going to write a long blog about how awful it has been, but then i read one of alex's recent posts and decided not to be so negative (i have a sinful tendency toward negativity). but upon thinking about it more, i do want to be honest about where i am at with things.
things have been rough since getting the other two boys. it feels like i barely have any time to enjoy them (let alone get housework done!) amidst their fighting and bickering. today i said that it feels like 75% of my time when they are awake is spent preventing them from hitting one another, mediating fights, teaching them to share or sitting with them in time out after they fight/hit.
maybe this will change, because alex told me tonight that i need to loosen up on my discipline. but i'm not sure if it actually will change because i dont even correct them every time i see them fighting, because that i would probably require me to spend nearly 100% of my awake time correcting, teaching to share and not fight/hit.
today was especially hard because our social worker visited. she observed at least 10 minutes of me (unsuccessfully) trying to get them not to jump on the bed (they were particularly rowdy right then, i think because they knew that she was there to take my attention away from them). that was really hard but then the oldest boy thought it would be funny to pick up his baby sister by the feet and drag her across the room.
i could share some more stories, but its getting late and i really want to get some sleep. i will leave you with a request to pray for us. or maybe just for me, because alex seems to be fine. i feel completely overwhelmed, even though one of my best friends has been here for the past week and constantly helping.
i need wisdom in parenting. i need sleep. i need joy, patience and love.