Tuesday, May 8, 2012

passionate, joyful homemaking: the myth of the stressed out, busy mom

[if you haven't read other posts in this series, start here]

of the following words, which do you most typically associate with moms?

stressed out
sleep deprived

my guess is that you would choose more of the words like "stressed" and "sleep-deprived" (especially moms of little ones!).  movies and TV shows also back up this stereotype, and research also shows that moms are often over-worked and lacking in adequate sleep.

to be sure, being a mom is not easy, no matter how many children you have, what their ages are, or what your family situation is like.  in fact, God created motherhood for sanctification, for the purpose of growing us and making us more like Himself, which he does though this challenging role.

but the busier we are, the harder it is to keep jesus the main thing. i can tell you without a doubt that the more stretched and stressed that i am, the harder it is to pray, meditate on God's word, and live with the Holy Spirit empowering me (rather than depending on my flesh).

the sad thing is that God's enemy loves to keep us nice and busy, so that our eyes stay off of jesus and are fixed on the present moment, the present crisis.  and that isn't hard these days in our busy culture, where busy and stressed out is the norm and expected.  often times, when i'm in an un-busy stage of life, i feel like i'm doing something wrong, rather than rejoicing in the peace.

one of the reasons that i am cautionary about vocation outside of the home for mothers is because it adds another burden to an already full plate, not only taking a mother's time away from her children, but also sapping her energy during the best hours of her day.  when she gets home, she often has too little time and energy to love her husband and children as the bible commands, let alone having a mind peaceful enough to focus on God.

as we looked at previously, there are several other things besides a career that can keep a mother too busy to focus on jesus and her family: ministry, the internet, hobbies and children's activities can all take away from the main thing.

the less busyness there is in your life, the more you can focus on quantity (not quality) time with your family:

i find that this concept is also true of my relationship with jesus:  i can't plan the moments when i really feel close and connected with him... i just keep reading the bible and praying, and unexpectedly he will bless me with a big truth or a loving reassurance from his word.

do you notice a difference in your relationship with jesus when you are busy versus when you are not busy?  do you notice a difference in your ability to serve your family when you are busy versus not busy?

1 comment:

  1. Hi there! I really like your blog... love it actually. This post is convicting to me, so thanks for sharing it. I find myself being busy by all kinds of things, even things that center around my kids (like planning children's activities, like you said, or making their food, which I actually just posted about today.) I've started doing more of that sort of thing after bedtime, but I think the pressure of being a "good" mom makes me feel more stressed out and busy than I need to be! In reality, my kids just want me. And the pressure comes only from myself.
    However, when I'm resting in what Christ has accomplished for me on the cross, and not on my performance as a mom, those are the times I'm able to make my home what I truly desire it to be.

    Take care... and thanks for linking my blog on your post a few days ago. :)