(Note: We sent the following e-mail to some friends and family members of ours. I decided to copy and paste it for those of you who may not have been able to receive the e-mail. We have deleted the names of the kids because we're not allowed to share any info yet. Your prayers are greatly appreciated)
Dear Friends and Family,
As I am writing this e-mail to you, my heart is filled with a wide mix of emotions. I am incredibly excited, anxious, nervous, etc. to tell you that our plans for fostering/adopting our children has taken a dramatic turn.
In the previous e-mail, I informed you that (baby boy) and (baby girl) have two older brothers. Their brothers' names are (oldest brother) (3 1/2 years old) and (middle brother) (2 1/2 years old). These two brothers were placed in another home with a loving and responsible family.
Over the past week, the other family has come to the conclusion that they do not want the two children placed in their home. On the other hand, Sarah and I have had an incredible week and we have completely fallen in love with our two babies. (you can read more about our experiences here and here) In light of all of this, we have told our social worker that we would like to have the two older children as well. So, within the next week and a half, we will officially have four children in our home.
We came to this decision after much thought and prayer and our choice was made for a couple of reasons. 1) Our hearts are drawn to (baby boy) and (baby girl), and we want them to live the highest quality of lives possible. We believe that this would involve their not being separated from their older brothers. 2) If we only adopted (baby boy) and (baby girl), we would most certainly pursue the adoption of more children in the future. Since that is the case, we decided that we would rather have these four children stay together now instead of finding another sibling set in the future.
Because of all of this, we are looking towards God for His provision. We are in a good spot financially, but we need two major things to happen fairly soon. First, we need to buy a van. We currently have two cars that will not fit all four children so if we go anywhere together, we're going to have to drive separately. Secondly, we can survive in our residence with four children, but we would prefer a larger space. So, I'm currently looking for a bigger apartment. Your prayers for God's provision in these matters are greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much for all of you who have responded with words of kindness and encouragement. This is an incredibly wonderful time for Sarah and me, and we're especially thankful for the support, encouragement, and prayers of friends like you.
Love,
Alex and Sarah
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
an update on the kiddos (kinda)
i haven't had much time or energy yet to write about the two additions to our family, but alex has written some great stories. you can read it here.
Monday, July 26, 2010
cleaning naturally
i finally did it.
i finally did my last load of laundry with bleach possibly ever.
as i wrote about recently, i have been on a journey this year of becoming a more green/natural household manager. one of the steps i am taking is to start using all natural household cleaners, mostly homemade. because i hate wasting, i am using up all of my old cleaners and when they are finished, replacing them with new homemade ones.
i have absolutely LOVED this change in the way that i care for our household. first of all, it is way cheaper, because i am making it all from inexpensive ingredients like vinegar and baking soda. secondly, it smells better when i clean. thirdly, it is better for the environment. and most importantly, it is healthier for my family.
the other day, i needed to clean the play chair that baby girl was on. i did it while she way sitting on it. i was careful not to spray her of course, but it made me so happy to know that the cleaner was so safe that it posed no possible threat to her (it was made from orange peels, vinegar and water).
as of today we will no longer have bleach in the house, a chemical that has been shown to be linked to numerous health problems. and we wont miss it at all.
do you want to start cleaning your home naturally? here is my recipe for orange peel cleaner.
*washed peels from several pounds of oranges, organic is best because the peels are cleaner, but i used conventional oranges (it is easier if you wash the peels before peeling the orange)
*white distilled vinegar
put orange peels into a 2 quart container, fill with vinegar, and seal it shut. allow it to steep for several weeks, shaking periodically. when it is done, strain out the peels (i strained it twice to get it all out, first through a screen, then through a coffee filter.)
you can use this as an all-purpose household cleaner by diluting with some water (1:1 or 1:2 ratio) in a spray bottle. i use this for everything, from counters to the floor to the bathroom. this is also what i used for baby girl's toys. it also has a nice scent to it!
do you have a homemade cleaning recipe that you like to use? please share it with us!
i finally did my last load of laundry with bleach possibly ever.
as i wrote about recently, i have been on a journey this year of becoming a more green/natural household manager. one of the steps i am taking is to start using all natural household cleaners, mostly homemade. because i hate wasting, i am using up all of my old cleaners and when they are finished, replacing them with new homemade ones.
i have absolutely LOVED this change in the way that i care for our household. first of all, it is way cheaper, because i am making it all from inexpensive ingredients like vinegar and baking soda. secondly, it smells better when i clean. thirdly, it is better for the environment. and most importantly, it is healthier for my family.
the other day, i needed to clean the play chair that baby girl was on. i did it while she way sitting on it. i was careful not to spray her of course, but it made me so happy to know that the cleaner was so safe that it posed no possible threat to her (it was made from orange peels, vinegar and water).
as of today we will no longer have bleach in the house, a chemical that has been shown to be linked to numerous health problems. and we wont miss it at all.
do you want to start cleaning your home naturally? here is my recipe for orange peel cleaner.
*washed peels from several pounds of oranges, organic is best because the peels are cleaner, but i used conventional oranges (it is easier if you wash the peels before peeling the orange)
*white distilled vinegar
put orange peels into a 2 quart container, fill with vinegar, and seal it shut. allow it to steep for several weeks, shaking periodically. when it is done, strain out the peels (i strained it twice to get it all out, first through a screen, then through a coffee filter.)
you can use this as an all-purpose household cleaner by diluting with some water (1:1 or 1:2 ratio) in a spray bottle. i use this for everything, from counters to the floor to the bathroom. this is also what i used for baby girl's toys. it also has a nice scent to it!
do you have a homemade cleaning recipe that you like to use? please share it with us!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
21 year old mother of 14 kids
"when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die." -dietrich bonhoeffer
this quote randomly popped into my head yesterday, and has been repeating itself ever since. i dont know why.
or at least i didn't. until i saw this video.
after watching it, alex said "i think we should do that". and my heart was thrilled.
and that is when bonhoeffer popped into my head again. and i realized that no matter how thrilled i would be about this, there is going to need to be a lot of dying between now and that day.
i will need to die to my fear of wrinkles in order to live in a sunny, tropical country. i will need to die to my demand for alone time in my life. i will need to die to my desire for constant financial security (there is no way, humanly speaking, we could "afford" to have 10+ kids). i may need to die to my desire to have biological children. i will need to die to my desire for control. i will need to die to my desire to eat healthy food (it is likely that we will live in a country where we will subsist mainly on rice and beans). i will need to die to my desire to exercise regularly. i will need to die to my desire for safety. i will need to die to my desire to be well liked and well known.
and there are probably 1,000 other things to add to the list that i don't even know yet.
but when i stand before jesus, all these things will be of no concern when (i pray) he says to me: "come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’"
what will He say to you? i implore you to meditate on this before it is too late:
“when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. and he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. then the King will say to those on his right, ‘come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? and when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? and when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ and the King will answer them, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
“then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ then he will answer them, saying, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ and these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
(Matthew 25:31-46 ESV)
this quote randomly popped into my head yesterday, and has been repeating itself ever since. i dont know why.
or at least i didn't. until i saw this video.
after watching it, alex said "i think we should do that". and my heart was thrilled.
and that is when bonhoeffer popped into my head again. and i realized that no matter how thrilled i would be about this, there is going to need to be a lot of dying between now and that day.
i will need to die to my fear of wrinkles in order to live in a sunny, tropical country. i will need to die to my demand for alone time in my life. i will need to die to my desire for constant financial security (there is no way, humanly speaking, we could "afford" to have 10+ kids). i may need to die to my desire to have biological children. i will need to die to my desire for control. i will need to die to my desire to eat healthy food (it is likely that we will live in a country where we will subsist mainly on rice and beans). i will need to die to my desire to exercise regularly. i will need to die to my desire for safety. i will need to die to my desire to be well liked and well known.
and there are probably 1,000 other things to add to the list that i don't even know yet.
but when i stand before jesus, all these things will be of no concern when (i pray) he says to me: "come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’"
what will He say to you? i implore you to meditate on this before it is too late:
“when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. and he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. then the King will say to those on his right, ‘come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? and when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? and when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ and the King will answer them, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
“then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ then he will answer them, saying, ‘truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ and these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
(Matthew 25:31-46 ESV)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
our imminent foster/adoption: what is a foster/adoption?
yesterday, i shared about how this past week we were finally certified to foster/adopt. we could be getting kids in our home any day or week now! i also shared more about our decision to adopt rather than try to get pregnant, and what motivated this decision.
today i want to go more into the different types of adoption, and how we landed on foster/adoption.
what is foster/adoption?
when we started to look into adoption, we learned that there are three different types of adoptions. one option is international adoption, which is becoming increasingly popular (many stars such as angelina jolie have done this type of adoption). the children are usually adopted at a pretty young age, and they may or may not have many special needs (many are "diagnosed" with special needs, which makes it easier for them to be adopted by americans, which magically "disappear" when the adoption is finalized). international adoption is expensive and a lengthy process, and just didn't seem like a good fit for us at this time.
another option is private domestic adoption, which happens through an agency that matches mothers here in the US who have unwanted pregnancies to prospective parents. adoptive parents pay all the medical bills, and are usually able to ensure a healthy pregnancy (more or less). private adoptions are almost always for infants, matched with adoptive parents before birth. private adoptions are also pretty expensive, and can sometimes be lengthy.
foster/adoption is adoption from the foster care system here in the US. these are children who have been taken from their parents the government because they are being abused in some way. it could be physical, sexual or emotional abuse, neglect, or because of prenatal drug/alcohol exposure.
children in the foster care system range from a day old to 17 years old. some have been "in the system" (ie away from their parents and in government care) for years, some only recently. many of them have special needs, ranging from mild (ADD, attachment disorder, etc) to severe (fetal alcohol syndrome, mental retardation, etc.). some are still visiting with their parents with the possibility of reunification, while others are completely cleared to be adopted. this type of adoption is essentially free. the process can be pretty short, but it can potentially last for years.
there are a half million children in the foster care system in the US
this is the type of adoption that has captured our hearts, and is what we have decided to pursue.
foster adoption is hard, and we haven't even experienced a small piece of it yet. in the next few weeks, we will be getting our first placement of children (we hope to adopt our first placement, but this is no guarantee, as reunification with parents is always a possibility). we have asked for a sibling set of two children between the ages of 0 and 4 (many of the children in the foster care system are sibling sets, but few people want to take more than one child at a time). it will definitely be hard to go from 0 to 2 kids, but there is a huge need for this, and we are able, so we are making ourselves available for siblings. this means that overnight, our family will double in size!
we have tried our best to prepare, but it is hard to do with that big of an age gap (though just a 3 year span, the developmental changes in these years are huge). in many ways our hands will be tied as parents, because we wont be able to parent in the way that we think is best, needing to submit to the government's rule first in everything (for example, we cant even cut the child's hair without permission from the social worker, let alone make medical or disciplinary decisions in line with our conscience).
when the children come into our home, they will probably be behind developmentally, due to the neglect they have faced (or example, we may get a three year old who is no where close to being potty trained). it will likely be unclear if they will be adoptable, meaning that we could care for them as our own for several months or even a year, after which they may be given back to their birth family.
please take a minute right now to pray that God would lovingly protect our future children right now where ever they are, and that he would lovingly prepare us for this potentially difficult journey, and set our eyes on Him during the whole thing!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
our imminent foster/adoption: why are we adopting?
this week, we were certified to be foster/adoptive parents. finally!!!
if you know us, you know that this is a process that we have been going through for a while. actually its been almost exactly 9 months since we started, which is kind of funny [i guess that God thinks that this is about the right length of time to prepare for parenthood :) ]. it has felt like a very long, dragged out process, but i guess compared to a pregnancy, its been the same amount of time... however, it has been MUCH more work and [i would guess] more stressful in many ways, though i have never been pregnant yet, so my opinion is biased.
its been a cool process, and God has had his hands all over it. one way we can see that is because it has taken us SOOOO much longer than it "should" have, which means that God was delaying it for some reason. (we were expecting to be certified as early as march or april, which would have been entirely likely if tons of random things didn't come up like they did.)
for those of you unfamiliar with what we are doing, i want to share more about what foster/adoption is and why we are doing it.
why adoption?
the biggest hurdle in this process was our decision to start a family, since i formerly had no interest in being a mother. the decision to adopt first (rather than have biological kids) was pretty easy, and relates to our faith in jesus.
::because alex and i were adopted::
the bible says that formerly, because of our sin, we were powerless before God (romans 5:6) and that we were enemies of Him (romans 5:10) , as we rebelled against his perfection by intentionally doing what we shouldn't, failing to do what we should, and pridefully trying to do "good" things to prove our worth to God.
however, God is perfectly loving, and chooses to be merciful even in our rebellion. while we were stuck in our sin, jesus (who was God) came to earth and died to pay the penalty that we owed for our rebellion.
because of this, the relationship with God that he originally intended for people was able to be re-established. because of jesus, not only can God forgive our sin, and not only can he view us as if we always did good things all the time, but he also chooses to adopt us into His family.
we, who were once considered His enemies, are now fully cared for and lavished with his tender love, and full beneficiaries of His inheritance for his children.
this is what motivates us to adopt: to be a small picture to our children and to the world of God's amazing grace.
::because God tells us to care for orphans, and we obey because we love Him::
last summer, i was studying the book of james in the bible. there is a verse (that is pretty popular in social-justice loving circles these days) which says "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (1:27). my study of the book lead me to something i had never heard before, despite how many times this verse is repeated: the word care/visit (depending on the translation) in the greek implies being an active part of the life of the orphans and widows. we already had a widow in our life that we were "visiting" and helping to care for, and we were financially supporting an orphan, but we didn't have any orphans whose lives we were actively involved in.
i prayed for God to show us how he would have us be actively involved in the lives of orphans right now while we are still in the US. his answer was simple and clear: adoption.
soon after we researched the different types of options for adoption, and we settled on foster/adoption. tomorrow i will talk more about these different types and how we decided to foster/adopt. for now, i ask you to look away from your computer for a minutes and pray for us, that God would graciously prepare us for this huge life change coming upon us very soon!
if you know us, you know that this is a process that we have been going through for a while. actually its been almost exactly 9 months since we started, which is kind of funny [i guess that God thinks that this is about the right length of time to prepare for parenthood :) ]. it has felt like a very long, dragged out process, but i guess compared to a pregnancy, its been the same amount of time... however, it has been MUCH more work and [i would guess] more stressful in many ways, though i have never been pregnant yet, so my opinion is biased.
its been a cool process, and God has had his hands all over it. one way we can see that is because it has taken us SOOOO much longer than it "should" have, which means that God was delaying it for some reason. (we were expecting to be certified as early as march or april, which would have been entirely likely if tons of random things didn't come up like they did.)
for those of you unfamiliar with what we are doing, i want to share more about what foster/adoption is and why we are doing it.
why adoption?
the biggest hurdle in this process was our decision to start a family, since i formerly had no interest in being a mother. the decision to adopt first (rather than have biological kids) was pretty easy, and relates to our faith in jesus.
::because alex and i were adopted::
the bible says that formerly, because of our sin, we were powerless before God (romans 5:6) and that we were enemies of Him (romans 5:10) , as we rebelled against his perfection by intentionally doing what we shouldn't, failing to do what we should, and pridefully trying to do "good" things to prove our worth to God.
however, God is perfectly loving, and chooses to be merciful even in our rebellion. while we were stuck in our sin, jesus (who was God) came to earth and died to pay the penalty that we owed for our rebellion.
because of this, the relationship with God that he originally intended for people was able to be re-established. because of jesus, not only can God forgive our sin, and not only can he view us as if we always did good things all the time, but he also chooses to adopt us into His family.
we, who were once considered His enemies, are now fully cared for and lavished with his tender love, and full beneficiaries of His inheritance for his children.
this is what motivates us to adopt: to be a small picture to our children and to the world of God's amazing grace.
::because God tells us to care for orphans, and we obey because we love Him::
last summer, i was studying the book of james in the bible. there is a verse (that is pretty popular in social-justice loving circles these days) which says "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (1:27). my study of the book lead me to something i had never heard before, despite how many times this verse is repeated: the word care/visit (depending on the translation) in the greek implies being an active part of the life of the orphans and widows. we already had a widow in our life that we were "visiting" and helping to care for, and we were financially supporting an orphan, but we didn't have any orphans whose lives we were actively involved in.
i prayed for God to show us how he would have us be actively involved in the lives of orphans right now while we are still in the US. his answer was simple and clear: adoption.
soon after we researched the different types of options for adoption, and we settled on foster/adoption. tomorrow i will talk more about these different types and how we decided to foster/adopt. for now, i ask you to look away from your computer for a minutes and pray for us, that God would graciously prepare us for this huge life change coming upon us very soon!
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