last night, i was getting bogged down by some sin, namely worry and anxiety. motherhood brings a whole new onslaught of things to worry about, but the reality is that worry has been a theme of my life for years.
in my head, i know that worry has no place in my heart, since i am a child of God, who is my loving, generous Father. he promises to give me wisdom when i need it (james 1:6). he promises to provide for me, and i know that he can provide exactly what i need (matthew 6:33). he can even provide something from nothing, as he did with the israelites in the desert, proving water from a rock and manna for them to eat.
but sometimes this is just head knowledge. and that is where the defeat comes in: the anxiety continues (albeit less and less as i grow in my faith). why am i enslaved to this worry? ironically, i worry about my worry and am anxious about my anxiety.
as these thoughts were tumbling about in my head, God put an interesting and beautiful picture in my head. i am stuck on good friday when resurrection sunday (easter) is the reality.
good friday was a day of seeming defeat. jesus was stripped, wounded, mocked and executed. more painful than anything else, though, was the fact that God the Father turned his back on him. all of this was a result of sin (ours, not jesus', as he had none). and if the story ended there, it would be a story of defeat.
but a few days later, that following sunday, jesus came back to life, conquering satan, sin and death forever. and the implications are massive: he was stripped that i might be clothed in righteousness. he was wounded that i may be healed of my sin patterns. he was mocked that i might be welcomed in. he died so that i might be given new life.
my focus is wrong: i have been focusing on my old life of sin, while ignoring the future and current reality of new life.
and that is a great reason to rejoice this resurrection sunday!
happy easter! i am joyful for a hope that is miles deeper than bunnies and chicks!